A change means an alteration of something into something else. It may be in the universe, climate, in a person, in the circumstances, or in a society etc. Some changes may be for better and some may be for worse. Some may be acceptable and some totally unacceptable. Some are happy and others are adverse. How to deal with all these?

One of the pleasant changes is seasonal changes in a year, every year. Not only they look beautiful, but also welcome. If there are no changes in the seasons, there wouldn’t be any crops and no food. If it is continuous summer, the heat will be unbearable and if it is continuously raining there will be floods or if there are none it will be a draught. These are not caused by the human beings. Hence only way to deal with them, is to enjoy as they come and if they are adverse in one particular year, one has to accept them and deal with them as best as possible. Also one should look at the positive side in the adverse circumstances. For example if there were floods year after year, people may think of building bridges and save water for the draught period. The autumn colours and the cuckoos singing in the spring are a welcome change after a bad winter. Similarly it is well known fact that the ozone layer round the Sun has developed holes and causing changes in climate(Global warming) in the entire universe. Human race can do somethings to alter it, but are unwilling as they want only short time comfort and not long term improvement for the future generations. Quite often there is no unity in making decision in a family of six, how can we expect a change in the concept of how to live in peoples of different nations worldwide? So acceptance is the only way.

What causes a change in a person? It may be because of financial losses, deteriorating health, loss of family members etc. How to cope with this depends on the individual circumstances. But the basis for adjustment comes understanding of the circumstances, and accepting them or if there is way out to make amendments to them. Tough times don’t last long but tough people will survive. The saying goes “when times get tough, the tough will get going”. If the problems came because of an argument or misunderstanding with somebody, one has to swallow the pride, and offer an apology to the other person thus, giving peace of mind and smooth running of life. This may work between colleagues or business partners or between husband and wife. Also one has to remember that there are always three sides to an argument. Your side, my side and the right side. This will happen only when there is a broad mind and cool temperament. If the unhappiness was caused by change in the family life, like a bereavement, one has to turn to spirituality to deal with. One has to accept that life is ephemeral and everybody who comes into this world will go one day and so one should not be bound with the ties of wife, children etc. One can and should live with the family but should not be tied to it and should always be practicing detachment in the mind through out the life. Some people will turn to God to make the situation change for better. Although it is the right thing to do, but one should also remember approaching God should not be only at the time of trouble but always.

Prayer is not a spare wheel that you pull out when in trouble, but a steering wheel that directs the the right path throughout.

If the unhappiness is caused because of unavoidable circumstances, again one has to turn to spirituality. One has to understand that the person has come into this world to spend all the sins that he accumulated in the previous lives and it is what is called Prarabhdha. There is no way to avoid it except to go through with it whether one likes it or not. One has to accept it is Prasadam(Food presented to a god or blessed by a priest and then distributed in a temple. The remains of an offering thus presented.) from God and one is paying back what he owed to others in this form.

Coming to changes in the society, they may be for better or for worse. From time to time, there were some reformers were born and brought about some changes for the betterment of the society according to the times they were living in. Some of them have lost their lives, money and family life to do good to the society and we should be grateful for them. Also there may be some changes in the society that take place very slowly like water under a mat, which are not immediately visible. With these changes, younger generations will feel happy because they didn’t know how it was before, but it will be very difficult for the older generations, who cannot accept the changes. It makes their life a misery and try to change the younger generation about the way they dress or they talk or the way they live. This will bring about a clash and friction between the generations living under one roof. Here the only solution is acceptance to some degree in the older generation and the younger generation taking good advice from the elders sometimes because it is given based on the lifetime experience and difficulties they faced in their life. So some degree of give and take is necessary on both sides.

When a person does not like another person but has to live close to that person, if the person does not know how to deal with this, it will be a misery for both. Can one change another? It is doubtful. If one is a dictator, the other one may silently bear the unhappiness out of fear but will not change as the way they behave depends on their samskaras(instincts) of previous life or lives. What is required here is to understand that person and accept that that person cannot behave in any other way than the way he or she is behaving thus far. That will bring about some compatibility.

Those who cannot change their minds cannot change any thing. - George Bernard Shaw.